I have always had the urge to write. I have had ideas, but sadly not the skill to put them down. As my mom could attest, in high school my writing was bad. After hearing authors say that to become a better writer you have to read a lot, I finally believe it to be true. I didn't enjoy reading in high school. I was a good reader and 'encouraged' to read really hard books that I could not relate to on any level. The older I get the more experience I have, I can now enjoy all of that classic literature.
This may not be any good, but I feel like I should share it. I had a line from the story pop into my head as I was walking down the hallway at school yesterday and the story just evolved from that. I didn't storyboard anything and wrote myself into a corner on how to end it...like I said this is my first attempt. Hope you enjoy and I look forward to writing some more. I find it very therapeutic.
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Liam lifted his glass of champagne and looked at his childhood friends as they broke their gaze of each other and smiled at him. “Today we are here to celebrate Jacob and Michelle on their recent engagement. I have known you both since 5th grade. Jacob, I had to step in and save you while you were getting your tail whipped by John Perkins behind the playground slide.” The crowd began to laugh as the faintest bit of red crept up Jacob’s neck. “In his defense, he was sticking up for his younger brother who was tormented by John every day after school. John didn’t stand a chance with it being 2 on 1.” More laughter erupted from the small room in the back of Da Vittorio Restaurant. “We sent that SOB to the hospital that day with a broken nose and a split lip. I fear that we could have easily be labeled thugs and our lives gone down a completely different path. Luckily for both of us, Michelle saw the whole thing and told Principal Rockwell why we did it. Those are the kinds of experience that cement relationships. We have been the best of friends these past 21 years, and I couldn’t be happier for the two of you. I am pleased to be able to tell you guys congratulations on finally ‘finding’ each other.”
A cacophony of clinking glassware, applause, and shouts of “here here” fill the room as the couple kissed and sipped their champagne. Liam glanced around the room, all eyes were on the couple. He let out a deep sigh, fogging the inside of his champagne flute, as he gulped down his drink.
They say champagne's for celebrating, it is also good for washing away stress. “I can’t take much more of this,” He thought as he backstepped and slipped out of the back room. He never considered himself an outgoing guy. He could talk and charm with the best of them, but his thoughts always lingered on the cynical side. He did not enjoy social events, in fact, he loathed them. He could always pull through in a pinch, charm some people in fact, but it drained him ever so much.
The heavy wooden door let out the tiniest squeak as it swung on the antique brass hinges. Liam breathed deeply letting some of the stress slip out of his body. “What is wrong with me?” he thought to himself as he approached the urinal to relieve himself. “Everyone is out there enjoying the moment and here I am seeking refuge in a freaking bathroom.”
Liam finished, flushed and washed his hand with some type of designer soap. He always liked the smell of soap...clean and simple, just how he wanted his life. Another squeak from the heavy door, it was time to put on his happy face.
After pausing at the entrance of the backroom for one last deep breath, Liam put on his smile and tried to slip in unnoticed. “It isn’t that I don’t like people even though lots of them drive me crazy,” his inner monolog said. As he received slaps on the back and attaboys for a speech well done from all of those extroverts that Jacob seemed to make friends with. “Birds of a feather,” he thought.
It is a cruel twist of irony that the very thing that he can’t stand is the very thing that he is...fake. Not that he didn’t love being with Jacob and Melissa, it was all of the posers hanging around. All of those big shots with bleached teeth, trendy suits, and that same stinking haircut that everyone has today, standing around talking about nothing so very loudly...how he envied that (other than the noise part). He moved throughout the sea of meaningless conversation filled with niceties and posturing, looking for someone to having a meaningful conversation. He hung out at the bar waiting for a chance to speak to Jacob before he left. Constantly taking sips to fill all the gaps in the conversations he wasn’t having, he began to feel the alcohol with its numbing kiss as it hit his lips. Soon he will have to switch to something easier than wine.
Just being in this situation, sent him back into his safe place...his mind. It is hard to say what exactly his thoughts were. They shifted from events from the day, the book he was reading at home, and his go-to, winning hypothetical arguments with people. These, of course, would never happen, but in his head, he always won.
He watched as a cycle of ‘fakers’ lined up one by one to schmooze with Jacob. It was always easy for Jacob to make conversation with anyone. That is why he was as successful as he was. Three years in a row he has been the number one salesman in the central district. Some were saying he was on the fast track to being corporate head of sales. This made him lots of friends with those ‘Type A’ personalities, the exact opposite of who Liam thought was his best friend.
Liam had always been a little jealous of Jacob’s success, which he felt was in no small part to the ease with which he could shoot the crap. Things always seemed to come easily to Jacob: money, opportunity, girls, you name it, it seemed to just fall into his lap. This always grated on Liam’s self-esteem. He knew he was not only smarter but more clever than Jacob. The only thing that he lacked was the confidence that apparently came from hanging around people who were always sucking up to you and trying to buddy-up with the alpha male.
He secretly held a slight grudge against Jacob. He loved him and he was his closest friend (which is saying a lot), but there were occasions where Liam found himself rooting for the other team. Liam justified this by saying it would be just to teach Jacob a little bit of humility...to bring him down a notch or two.
He harbored no real ill will toward him, but he always felt a little cheated that no one wanted to really get to know him. He thought of himself as a very interesting man with lots of knowledge and skills to do all sorts of cool things. The hand he was dealt was to not be able to talk with strangers. No one would know all of these cool things, because it took lots of time for Liam to open up to anyone and share those interests and feelings, and by that time, most people (especially the shallow fake types) would move on to more exciting fare.
Melissa was an extension of this thought. Although now he considered her one of his very close friends, he completely blew the shots that he had. He doesn’t blame Melissa for not being interested in him. Senior year was his big shot. Clearly, he had feelings for her...everyone knew this, even Jacob. Liam spent day after day in his feeble attempt to lay down “groundwork,” so that when he made his move, he would succeed. Of course, when he would finally get up enough nerve to make his move and ask her out, he would retreat to that safe place...his mind. It would never come out the way he had planned in his ‘hypothetical conversations.’ Generally, this would be shrugged off with a comment like, “Silly Liam, you are so cute.”
In college, Jacob stepped up with his usual swagger and hooked her. She fell for him like a ton of bricks and that was the end of any shot Liam had. He tried to tell himself that he wasn’t bitter about it. He didn’t like the situation, but he knew where the fault lied; all of his ‘groundwork’ and planning was really just him procrastinating in attempt to put off his fear of failing and what others would think about him.
Finally an opportunity to talk to Jacob.
“Thanks for saying all those nice things tonight,” Jacob said.
“Yes Liam thank you, you are so sweet and a great friend,” Melissa said with her usual smile.
“No problem man. It’s the least I can do. I think I am going to head out though, I am not a night owl like you guys.”
“Alright man, be safe. If you need anything...anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”
“Will do, you guys take it easy.”
There was the standard handshake, pull it into a hug and big slap on the back. A hug and kiss on the cheek to Melissa and he was off. As he walked out to the parking lot alone, he was able to start talking himself down from all the anxiety he felt during this whole ordeal. Two clicks of his car remote and he could hear the engine start.
As he slipped into the driver seat he could let out a final sigh. Check this off his list, he made it. He knows that this thought is dumb, not one person has died from having a social obligation to going to an engagement party. Yet somehow a shadow of those thoughts was in the back of his head the whole time. He could feel it sucking the energy from his batteries while he was in there. He doubts his destiny is to be alone forever, but at the moment, there is nothing he would rather have than some alone time to recharge, in his chair and a nightcap.
As he slipped the car into drive and drove down the hill toward the highway, he smiled knowing that he was headed home to relax.
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